As a result
of my infinite good fortune, I am able to interact with members of the
NA Fellowship from all over the world. I try not to let a day go
by without reflecting on this and expressing gratitude. With the
theme of this issue being spirituality, I saw an opportunity to share my
good fortune with NA Way readers.
What follows are four short
essays on the Eleventh Step. These essays are directed more toward
application in one’s life rather than on the step itself. The participants
are: a woman originally from the United States who’s lived in Europe and
currently lives in the northernmost reaches of India; an Indian from Bombay
who has studied meditation in many different parts of India; an American
of Filipino descent who is well-known in certain areas of NA for his focus
on spirituality and humility; and a woman from Argentina who brings a refreshing
and enlightening perspective to the Eleventh Step.
From Dharamshala, India
In my experience, the process
of prayer and meditation enhances my recovery and makes me a better person
by facilitating a process by which I can diminish the negative and practice
the positive.
I am moving away from my
past, when I believed that I was the exclusive victim in the center of
the universe, with all the accompanying resentments which fed into that
insatiable role.
I am taking fewer vacations
into the future. For me, prayer and meditation act as the ticket
out of the fantasy island of “what if” and “if only” into which I can slide
like it’s quicksand, and get stuck.
I am starting to achieve
glimpses of what it’s like to dwell in the present. Throughout my
recovery, I’ve lived in situations that cause me to say the Serenity Prayer
on a regular basis. My latest is living in a tiny community that
is a hotbed of opportunities to practice spiritual principles, where experiences
illustrate the necessity of choosing my battles wisely and relinquishing
the rest. My present Himalayan environment reminds me to practice
restraint of tongue and yet continue to breathe. Sometimes I even
succeed in evaporating most of the smoke in my mouth, though there is a
flaming fire still roaring in the active volcano of my heart.
Lisa M
From Bombay, India
After bouncing in and out
of NA for a few years, in 1990 I went mad—streaking on the streets and
doing all sorts of crazy things. The cops put me in a loony-bin where I
was caged like a wild animal behind bars, getting electroshock therapy
every few days without any anesthesia. Thanks to NA & my meditation,
I’m clean for nearly nine years.
I didn’t believe in God when
I first came into NA, so I meditated but didn’t pray through my first five
years clean.
In my meditation, I remain
aware of my breath and body sensations without reacting to them.
This helps my mind, which is tripping along at a supersonic speed into
the past or future, to live in the here and now. It has also removed
a lot of my anger, fear, and other shortcomings, making me more loving
and caring.
After my sitting I give the
benefits I receive from meditating (love and compassion) to all others,
especially those with whom I have a problem.
Prayer also helps me a great
deal with healing my relationships. After only six months of praying for
my sister (whom I resented and with whom I had a twenty-year-long property
dispute), we came together again. Also, a fellow addict who had come
to hit me at an ASC meeting came a few months later and started crying
in my arms. Prayer and meditation are very powerful.
The spirituality that our
program and the fellowship offer us is truly awesome.
With love and gratitude,
Rajiv B
From San Pedro, California
One of the most indisputable
things about recovery in NA is that each individual has the undeniable
right to a Higher Power of his or her own understanding.
I didn’t get it the first
time around. When I heard or read the word “God,” I immediately shut down.
I became closed-minded, and therefore could not hear the words that came
next: “as we understood Him.” Not listening caused me a lot of pain
and grief over the 3½-year period of using after I relapsed.
The Eleventh Step was difficult
for me throughout my first year, and maybe a bit longer. It was due
to the lack of practicing meditation. I had already learned about
the power of prayer. I needed to learn of the value and benefit of
meditation. Something I heard at a meeting (during a time of grief)
inspired me to take up the practice of meditating following prayer.
Beginning the practice of
meditation has had a profound effect on my life. I once saw some
NA artwork on a T-shirt and jacket that had a puzzle with a hand holding
the missing piece. Inside the piece of the puzzle was the word “service.”
Since service has been a big part of my recovery, the word on my missing
puzzle would have been “meditation.” I can’t imagine my life without
it now.
I have had some deep and
profound experiences during meditation. For the most part, Step Eleven
acts as my vehicle for living the principles found in the steps—when I’m
spiritually centered (or God-centered, if you will) when insanity enters
my life, I am restored to sanity before I act out. Being spiritually centered
opens me up to recognize what my Higher Power wants me to do and where
He wants me to go.
My sponsor told me that the
depth of my recovery would be contingent upon my spiritual maintenance.
I have found that to be true, and I maintain my spirituality through prayer,
meditation, and being of service.
I have a beautiful sponsor
who has taught me (by example) to keep my recovery basic and simple. After
reading a number of books about meditation, I have found that what works
best for me is the simplicity of using prayer to communicate with my Higher
Power and taking the necessary quiet time so that I have a chance to recognize
God’s will when it is put before me. Part of God’s will for me is
to stay clean and recognize the beauty in my surroundings as well as in
other human beings.
Prayer and meditation are
wonderful tools that will fill your heart with peace, serenity, and love.
God bless,
Freddie A
From Buenos Aires, Argentina
Every morning I wake up,
get on my knees, and ask my Higher Power to fill me with strength and hope
so I can go through my day surrendered to His will. I sit in front
of my plants to meditate on the gift of life he has given me and the second
chance I have through the NA program.
I do not profess any religion;
the kneeling is a physical expression of my surrender. I arch my
body as a sign of gratitude.
Meditation is a mental surrender,
stopping the thoughts of my head (the mental part of my disease) and allowing
a fluid and conscious contact with my heart, its beating, and the vital
oxygen that enters my unmanageable, systematic, and wonderfully symmetric
body. That is my Higher Power. I share oxygen with other living
beings; some, like me, are human; others, like my plants, are of another
level of evolution. But we all have life.
Through prayer, I seek calmness
and mental silence so that the voice of my Higher Power can appear.
Through meditation, I seek to quiet the needs of my body and mind so the
true being will become manifest—conscious contact, part of the all, a drop
of water in the ocean of my spirit. My Higher Power is the ocean
in which I am but a drop with all the virtues and characteristics of that
ocean in essence and potential to develop.
The will of my Higher Power
is that I be happy with my life, with what I do and how I do it.
It is to share not only the oxygen but also the serenity of knowing that
I am part of something, the courage to fulfill my part, and wisdom to be
able to recognize every feeling that runs through my humanity. Through
the Eleventh Step my Higher Power breaks through my humanity and gives
me the strength to overcome the powerlessness and limitations from which
I suffer due to my being an addict.
Today, after experiences
and awakenings to consciousness, every time more profound, I don’t even
care so much what His will for me is. Let Him do what He’ll do.
What He gives me is much more than I can imagine in my life!
I am a part of humanity.
I have a second chance. I belong to a fellowship of men and women
who are evolving spiritually toward a better quality of life.
My Higher Power wanted this
place where I am now to be my place in the world, doing what I do (which
I never have imagined I would do). I am happy, complete, full, alive,
and profoundly grateful. I am no longer alone!
Patricia M
It is apparent from reading
these essays that the Eleventh Step is one of the keys to spiritual growth.
I think it would be generally agreed upon by NA members worldwide that
spiritual growth is directed away from the ego-based concerns of self and
toward others and a “power greater than ourselves”—whatever our members
understand that power to be. Reading these four very distinct statements
from four different NA members can’t help but make our members feel proud
and, as the last essayist said, profoundly grateful to be a part of the
NA Fellowship.
